


Dumbledoor and 1,000,000,000 Points to Gryffindor

by M1dn1ght_Star



Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Blatant favoritism, Crack, Gen, Misuse of power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29922465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M1dn1ght_Star/pseuds/M1dn1ght_Star
Summary: Dumbledoor enjoys giving points to his former house and conveniently forgets any other houses exist
Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053173
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Dumbledoor and 1,000,000,000 Points to Gryffindor

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be humorous but I was always disgusted with how much favoritism was clear in canon.

Dumbledoor whistled cheerfully as he walked down the corridor, nodding to Professor Vector as he passed before spotting a pair of Gryffindors having a card game competition. The cards appeared to be a custom set and included a scowling Professor Snape on the Draw 4. His eyes lit up and Dumbledoor said loudly as he passed, “10 points for being awesome.”

Unimpressed, the nearby Ravenclaw who had actually created a game whispered a spell under their breath and made the Dumbledoor card look stupid. No specific details, just stupid to anyone who saw it depending on their opinion of what was stupid. Then the Ravenclaw vanished behind a portrait, satisfied with their petty revenge against the biased Headmaster.

Dumbledoor made his way through the day giving points to Gryffindor for various reasons, such as climbing the stairs two steps at a time and eating lemon flavored candy. The teachers and other students had caught on at this point and one enterprising Slytherin even dressed up in their friend’s red and gold robes and managed to get a, “20 points to your house” out of the man. This only worked once though, as Dumbledoor usually mentioned Gryffindor specifically and so pretending to be a Gryffindor would only backfire on the other houses.

McGonagall watched the hourglass for her house grow fuller as every minute passed and as much as she was tempted to just let the Headmaster continue so she could bask in the victory, her anti-cheating convictions just wouldn’t let her. She gathered the other heads of house and organized a plan to try and stage an intervention, making their way to where Dumbledoor was idly flipping through the latest WonderWizard magazine.

He looked up as they approached and greeted them brightly, asking if they needed something. Sprout tried first, inquiring subtly if any of her Hufflepuffs had been doing well lately, to which Dumbledoor nodded in a distracted manner before looking back at his magazine. Severus was out of patience and went straight for the jugular, demanding to know why Dumbledoor was giving Gryffindor so many points for no reason and insisting he stop.

At this, Dumbledoor pulled himself up to his full height in outrage, glamouring himself to look taller using his wand that was hidden in his sleeve. “No.” He said. The professors all protested and tried to convince and force him in various ways to stop, ending with Dumbledoor smiling and proclaiming, “1,000,000,000 points to Gryffindor” before promptly vanishing through the trick wall behind him, using the secret elevator to disappear.


End file.
